Sharing My passion: Why I Created The Soulful Sophisticate
Hello and welcome to The Soulful Sophisticate! While I initially planned for this blog to focus on just home life, improving your mindset about your home, family management, and self-care, I've realized it's all connected to various other aspects of life. Therefore, this space is about helping you become a better, more well-rounded version of yourself. It's about embracing a softer, more relaxed approach and letting go of rigidity, to find a happier, intentional, and more harmonious you. Being in tune with all of those things brings you closer to who you truly are as a soul, a being, and the greatest and deepest expression of yourself, which is love. And with that, living a sophisticated life is so much more than fashion and style. A sophisticate can be seen as a woman who is worldly, cultured, knowledgeable, open to learning new things, and refining them with great skill and grace. Sophistication can apply to any area of your life that you want to enhance and improve. In joining these two concepts together hence: The Soulful Sophisticate.
Your life may feel extremely chaotic right now. You may feel as though there's absolutely no possibility that things can change. You feel like every day the world is coming down on you. You may be a single mom, or married and feel like a single mom feeling as though by the time the end of the day ends you've outpoured more of yourself than you can ever get back. And trust me, I know what that's like, I've been there. Mentally drained, wanting to feel better, wanting to enjoy my family or kids, wanting to feel lighter when my feet hit the ground in the morning instead of dragging my feet out the bed and rushing to find clothes for the kids and myself in the morning. Barely having an ounce of time to truly connect with your kids in the morning before they head off for the day, let alone, having zero time to connect with yourself. Then once the end of the day rolls around, you're just looking for peace and quiet, that may look like everyone retreats to a device, no real interaction on how everyone's day was. Or maybe you do have a little bit of that in the evening, but it's pure chaos until bedtime. Either scenario is all too familiar. Next thing you know, the days, weeks, months, and years fly by. Yes, you may have gotten your kids through their school years, and activities, but mentally, emotionally, and physically, WHERE ARE YOU? Even though your kids may be thriving, or your spouse may be thriving, ARE YOU?
The experiences I'm about to share have been a big part of my life and are very familiar to me. I've been through marriage, divorce, and the challenges of being a single mother to my second son. As a single mom, there were times when I struggled, but I also felt empowered and engaged in my entrepreneurial pursuits. I thought running my own business and being a "boss babe" was my ultimate dream, but it ended up leading to burnout and a sense of unfulfillment. While I initially enjoyed working with my clients and helping them achieve results, it eventually brought about anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. I'll talk more about the key lessons I learned from closing my business in a future post.
During that time, I have to admit that I was working hard but not smart. I wasn't managing my time efficiently, and my work hours were encroaching on my personal life. I would finish my work at the spa, then spend over an hour picking up both kids from afterschool care. After rushing through dinner, I'd get the kids ready for bed and then get back to work. It was a cycle of late nights and early mornings, leaving me feeling exhausted and constantly behind. I was living a hectic, fast-paced life without much balance. Despite having the tools and knowledge to be more present, I wasn't using them effectively or consistently.
In return, eventually, the constant beating of the drum led to other areas of my life declining. My lack of routine, unfavorable stories, lack of awareness, and undisciplined habits caught up to me, life fell apart, or seemingly it did anyway. I had a huge breakup, my money was down and tight, and I was learning what it meant to be a parent to a teenage son, and not in the best of ways. That's when I realized how I had been operating, it only made sense that this big bomb in my life would drop down when, and the way that it did. I decided I had to ground myself despite what was physically going on around me. That had to start with first being still and realizing where I was at mentally, having an honest assessment and accountability session with where I truly was spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So after doing some soul-searching and talking with God, I started to get back to my morning routine. Within a few days, I was already feeling the shift, then after a few weeks I was feeling lighter, and my days were brighter, even though it was a stressful time in my life the way I was responding to my day and the circumstances was easier, my perspective about the outcome had changed, and I was less reactive. To me, that was a win within itself. A month or so later is when I got a call that completely changed my life. I had manifested an unbelievable series of events that had put me in one of the most comfortable places I had ever been in my life.
After that, I was truly fortunate to have the opportunity to take a year off from work and everything business-related. This gave me the chance to return to school and pursue my other passions. It also opened up a path for me to focus and gain clarity on what I truly wanted at this stage of my life. I discovered that taking care of my family and home, and hosting my loved ones, was what truly ignited my spirit. It became something I cherished, even on the most challenging days. Tidying up around my house no longer felt like a tiresome chore; it became a source of pleasure because of the fulfillment and peace of mind it brought me. For me, it meant taking pride in my space, enjoying functionality, feeling comfortable and content, and being more productive. Embracing slower mornings, starting my day with a 6:30 workout, savoring my favorite cup of coffee, being present for my youngest at breakfast time, as well as preparing dinner early, became my own personal little luxuries.
I understand that you might think I was able to experience a certain way of living because I didn't have to work. But that's not true. I had decided to adopt this mindset while I was still working full-time and going through a very stressful period in my life. It's just that with that, I no longer felt pressured to keep up the idea, that I wanted to work and "hustle hard". I consciously decided to bring more order into my life, regardless of my circumstances. I was determined to cultivate peace and happiness from within, rather than depending on external factors. As a result, I saw positive changes in my life. This isn't a post about manifestation, although I will be discussing it in future posts. The key point here is that there was a shift in my mindset first, which then led to tangible results. This shift wasn't reliant on anyone else's approval; not a partner, not my business, and not my children. I want you to understand that living a more peaceful, fulfilling, and enriching life isn't dependent on external factors. Nor did becoming multifaceted, and refining areas of my life happen overnight. However, you do have the ability to improve your quality of life, create better experiences, change your perspective, and distance yourself from negativity online, because all of this is within YOUR control.
And that's what this blog is all about.
My mission is to share my discoveries and experiences to empower women like you to create happier, healthier, lighter, and brighter lives. This space will cover various topics that go beyond superficial changes like wearing dresses more or applying makeup daily. The aim is to enhance your overall quality of life, making you a more well-rounded, sophisticated woman. I am grateful for your presence here and hope you will subscribe to stay connected with what's to come.
With love,
Mesha